Japan has a curious problem when it comes to its public broadcaster NHK. On the one hand, they will claim that anyone who owns a TV (or a smartphone capable of downloading the NHK streaming app) must pay a yearly fee of approximately 13,000 Yen (130 USD). On the other hand, they do nothing to enforce not paying this fee, and go about collecting fees indirectly through middlemen. Because of these two facts, it makes the legality of the NHK fee seem murky at best. This isn’t your average gaijin talking, avoiding fees under the blanket of linguistic ignorance. A large portion of the Japanese public avoids paying this fee too.

I’ve had my fair share of run-ins with the dreaded NHK man. But rarely have I had to actually interact with these scumbags. This is done by simply not answering the door for anyone unless I am absolutely sure it is an expected guest or package delivery agent. No one else gets past that firewall. I’ve seen them through the keyhole, waiting, often ringing the buzzer several times, hoping to catch you letting your guard down and opening your door. NHK third-party agents are known for being overly aggressive, forcing you to sign up for payment by interrogating you endlessly should you mistakenly answer their door to door call.

Of course “aggressive” is a relative term. An “aggressive” Japanese collection agent isn’t really all that intimidating if you come from suburban America, where thwarting Jehovah Witness reps and their like was almost a sport. So when I accidentally opened the door to an NHK agent by accident a few years ago, I just made sure to channel my inner crazy in order to make him see the error of his ways.

Some of us have tried the “gaijin smash” in such situations: feigning Japanese language ignorance, and hoping that does the trick. This can have a 50/50 chance of success, as agents might possess some English skills or have ways to maneuver around that barrier. I decided to take it one step further.

As soon as I realized that I had opened the door to an NHK demon, I decided to make him regret it. I went full Jody Foster in Nell, mumbling incoherently in my own imaginary language, flailing my arms wildly, and acting mentally disturbed.

I almost broke character, laughing when the dude continued to try to get info from me in Japanese and broken English. It took him a few minutes but he eventually relented, backed his way into the elevator, and sayonara-ed sheepishly as the doors closed.

I quickly closed my apartment door, re-secured the lock, and breathed a sigh of relief. The man didn’t even leave a pamphlet, nor did he get my name. In fact, more than 3 years have passed since that frightful day and I have yet to encounter another NHK agent.

So stay strong my foreign friends. Be bold, be weird. You can defeat NHK via unorthodox behavior and embracing your inner Nell.